


death by a thousand cuts

by fairytaledyke



Category: Manifest & Heartstrings Crossover
Genre: F/M, SO, Slow Burn, calling this trope the 1 in reverse, i honestly don't know how to tag this, i'm so sorry that this is long. not very eventful and most likely boring, longing? pinning? yearning? yea sure, shout out to evermore she's a queen and we should all be in awe of her power, this is a break up fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairytaledyke/pseuds/fairytaledyke
Summary: Ben and Genevieve break up.
Relationships: Ben Stone / Genevieve Carson, Dreanvi, benevieve - Relationship
Kudos: 5





	death by a thousand cuts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PaulrissaRahany](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaulrissaRahany/gifts).



> **JUNE**

“You never prioritize me or us.” 

“You know what I’m doing at work is important.” Ben protested 

“Oh I know that, I’m very aware of that fact. But we’re supposed to be in a team, a partnership. Which doesn’t work when you put me in the back seat every single second of every single day.” Genevieve said with a sharp tone.

“So you agree that you are resenting me for getting this job. That we had to move here and because of it you didn’t get the job that you wanted at a firm?”

“At least I’m trying. But how can I be supportive about everything? When I don’t get that enthusiasm back?” Genevieve asked. 

Ben dragged a hand across his neck, almost rubbing it raw. He felt guilty for once again having to cancel their date for another deep dive into what he was doing at the office. He would have assumed that Genevieve would've surely understood where he was coming from? Wrong.

They had been yelling at each other for a while, everything that had been simmering under the surface suddenly came out full force when Ben walked back into the apartment they shared. After the yelling had calmed down the silence was all that was left, which was a dangerous barrier between the two. Genevieve was the first to break the silence again, he couldn’t help but get a horrible feeling about this whole fight. 

“I can't... I can't help feeling like this. You can't help feeling like that.” Her voice, thick with emotion. “But we can’t keep having the same fight.“ 

Ben froze. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I can’t keep fighting like this, it’s not fair to you or me.” Her eyes started to tear up. “We both deserve better. I deserve better.”  
  
He took two strides forward, his body was filled with a nervous energy that he didn’t know what to do with. “Genny, what are you saying? That we break up?”

She shrugged, unable to look him in the eye. He felt himself inflating, all the anger he previously felt washed away only leaving fear left. The thought had never even crossed his mind, not even for a second and here she was putting it into words. 

His stomach revolted hating what this fight was doing to them. “Genny, baby please.. What if I start to work less, I’ll even take on a less heavy load.” 

“We both know that won’t happen, you can’t separate yourself from work, you love what you do too much.” Hopelessness filled her tone. 

“No we can fix this. I love you and I can’t lose you.” 

“Will you prioritize me as your girlfriend and not just someone to bounce ideas off of and then disappear for days?”

“That’s unfair and you know it.”

“I don’t want to blame you, Ben. But it’s hard for me to watch you occupied at all hours with work and even when you’re here, you’re not.” 

Ben knew her like the back of his hand, and when she had remained her normal, happy self, how should he have known? Genevieve had never shown any signs of unhappiness or regret. Had he really been that involved in his latest project? Was he really that out of the loop? 

“I thought you liked being a government worker?” 

Gen looked down on her hands. “I do.. But it’s not really want I wanted to do”“I would never stop you from doing what you want.”  
  
“I know.” she whispered. “But it still doesn’t change anything.”  
  
Ben's hands itched, he wanted to touch her, hold her hand, quiet down her fears and sooth the parts that were hurting, he selfishly also wanted to sooth his own fears too. But he was terrified of the eerie silence, to move that the quietness that had surrounded them would break and they would start arguing again.

“I don't want to break up.” He said.  
  
“I don't want to feel like I'm watching my life pass by waiting for you. That I’m not important enough or that my feelings don't matter.”

“Baby please.” He pleaded. 

“What do you want me to say?” 

“Maybe don’t throw away a four year relationship? Don’t quit on us just because it’s getting hard.” His anger was building up again, which only spurred hers on. 

“I’m sorry! But It’s not just getting hard Ben, that’s the issue here and sometimes everything can’t be solved by talking.”  
  
“Help me understand then! I knew we had some problems, but I thought we were stronger than that.” He crossed his arms in a defensive stance. 

Genevieve straightened her back, staring right back, tears running down her cheeks. Which made shivers appear on his back, something in her eyes wasn’t the same, from all the times he had looked into her gorgeous green eyes. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

Ben stood up and walked towards the apartment door. “I can’t believe you, Genevieve.” He shut the door and walked away from the apartment. He desperately needed some fresh air, so he could clear his thoughts and not cause another explosion, maybe if they both calmed down she would come to her senses. 

Which was the second mistake he made that night, and by far the biggest. For when he returned he could immediately tell something was off. Their homey apartment was still standing, everything was where it stood before except one thing or rather one person. He could feel his bone crushing fear seeping in as he looked around the apartment but finding neither Genevieve or her things. Everything had been cleared out, it was like there had never been another person living in this place.

In cheer desperation Ben checked the balcony, praying to any god that was listening. That she would be sitting on the balcony, where he had found her many times, but even that was empty. He squeezed his eyes closed. This couldn’t be happening.

He didn’t know if his knees were forcing him to sit down or if it was because he felt like he was passing out, everything blurring in front of his eyes. His hands were shaking and he was having a hard time breathing. It was like living in an actual nightmare but he couldn’t wake up. Everything was screaming in him, he shouldn’t have left the apartment, he shouldn’t have let her leave. Genevieve, Genny, his Gen. Gone. 

His chest ached at the thought of living without her, without her presence in their apartment. Where they had spent every moment together, where everything in this place was theirs, where memories were attached with every piece of furniture and object and space. 

What would happen now? How could he move on from the life they shared? How could they stop? And what came after? 

He didn’t know. 

* * *

Genevieve was walking through a hallway, trying to find the right door. Every door looked the same as tears were threatening to escape her eyes and run down her face. It was a miracle that she hadn’t completely broken down yet. Or maybe she was just in shock, while she waited for Ben to return, she realized if she wanted some change, she needed to take it into her own hands and not wait around for someone that might never come. So she had packed her stuff up, and then left everything behind. 

After she had left the apartment, she was confused as to where she would go next. So she hopped on the first plane to Brooklyn. To the one of the only people that would understand or at least wouldn’t turn her away. She finally reached the right door and knocked on it. 

The door opened and her friend, Saanvi revealed herself with a surprised look on her face. “Genevieve? What are you doing here.” 

“Hi. I just arrived; it’s a last minute kind of trip.” Genevieve shrugged trying to make it sound casual.

“Is Ben here too?” Saanvi asked, while she held the door open for Genevieve to enter the apartment which she did and the door was closed behind her. 

Her heart clenched at the question, she knew she couldn’t hide it, it was better for it to come out first. “We broke up.” Her voice cracked. 

Saanvi's face fell. “What? When?”

“5 hours ago.” Genevieve forced herself to not start bawling in the middle of Saanvi's apartment. 

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” She quickly wiped under her eyes and attempted to smile. “So what’s new with you? How are you?”

“I’m good. My research is progressing at a good speed forward. The hospital is great and I have a new girlfriend.” Saanvi explained. 

Genevieve gave her a small but genuine smile, it was hard not to be happy for her. “That’s great! I’m happy for you.”

“So are you staying in the city?” 

“I hate to inconvenience you but can I stay here? Until I find somewhere else to go?” She asked and was received with a hug. 

Which Genevieve replicated as the girl responded. “As long as you want.” 

Saanvi’s apartment was small yet cozy; the brick wall and fireplace was a nice touch to the place. The apartment was big enough that they wouldn’t live on top of each other or be forced to intrude on each other’s personal space. She could see no reason why this wouldn’t work out.

“I love what you’ve done with the place.” Genevieve said looking around 

“I managed.” Saanvi shrugged. “So do you want to talk about it?”  
  
Genevieve tried to think what she would say. Her thoughts were all mangled and she had a difficulty to even grasp what had happened herself. What was there even to talk about? She broke things off, he begged her not to. And now nothing would ever be the same again. How they would never talk about their days while eating breakfast. No random texts throughout the day. No playing with her hair while they were watching TV. No them. 

She shook her head. “No I’m good.”

Saanvi looked at her with sadness, Genevieve knew her friend meant well but it was another reason why she didn’t feel like opening up. The almost pitiful look she had gotten ever since she had shared the news, or maybe it was the fact that it hurt just to think his name, she couldn’t even force herself to say it out loud without crying. 

“You know I’m here if that changes.”

Genevieve said her thanks and then went to unpack. She tried to motivate herself that this would be good for her, a fresh start, a space to find herself outside her relationship, new opportunities and a new city. Even if it felt impossibly hard and pointless right this moment. 

But she was instantly hit with memories. She remembered finding the apartment they would call home, it was the seventh place they saw and both instantly knew. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, far from it. The hardwood floors were slightly stained, the walls were a weird shade of egg shell blue. The cabinets were slightly jammed but it still felt right, it still felt like coming home. 

(Or maybe it was the flower shop across their apartment with big daffodils in the window. She was a big believer in signs but Ben didn’t know about that. Later Ben revealed that he did know about it and she loved him a little more because of it)

Later that night they were sitting on the balcony, Ben’s head on her lap as they split a pizza and talked about all the things they would do in their new place. They were so excited for the new chapter that awaited them. But that was a simpler time, and it felt like a different lifetime. 

* * *

Ben was staring at his phone waiting for it to light up with a new message or notification from Genevieve. Willing it to do something, anything to keep him from pacing in the small kitchen. He didn’t know where she had gone and she hadn’t left him a single sign where she would have disappeared to. He threw his phone on the kitchen counter, and went back to angrily pacing their fight replaying in his head. 

The space he was spacing on was the same space that she had been sitting in just weeks ago and when a song had started to play on the radio, and he had asked her to dance. Which ended up with, their foreheads pressed together and small smiles on their faces. 

The memory now taunted him. Genevieve had been a constant, unwavering, relentless force in his life for so long, he couldn’t think. Couldn’t believe what was actually happening. He shouldn’t have left, he shouldn’t have, he shouldn’t, he-. Another noise escaped him, his brain was driving him insane with the what if’s and what now. He needed to get out of the apartment but he couldn’t find it in him to move from the repeating pattern he was making into the floor. 

Suddenly his phone lit up and buzzed signaling that he had gotten a message, and he immediately rushed towards it. He then saw that the message was from his sister Michaela. Ben looked at the message and slid down to the floor, his phone in hand as he typed and then pressed send. 

  
  


**Hey big bro, everything good on your end?**

**Genevieve left me.**

Suddenly the phone started to ring, his sister's contact picture immediately showed. He figured this would be her reaction. He took a moment before he pressed to answer and put the phone against his ear and heard her voice come out of it. 

_"Ben?"_

When his sister's soft yet concerned voice came from the phone, it made the whole dam break loose. Everything he was feeling rushing out and the anger he had been clinging to was suddenly deflated and with it gone there was only sadness and hurt left. He took a deep breath before answering.

“She’s gone.” he whispered. “She left me.”

_"I’m so sorry Ben. Is there anything I can do? Do you me to come and visit? I’ll book a flight right away."_

He took a deep breath and then spoke. “No, it’s not necessary.”

_"If you’re sure. If there’s anything I can do please tell me."_

“I’m sure. I just don’t know what to do.” He mumbled. 

* * *

All Genevieve had done the last week was crying in her new room, she was surprised she wasn’t suffering from dehydration. She decided for her to stop the endless cycle of pain and heartbreak she was in, she needed to leave the apartment. She was miserable but that didn’t mean she had to trap herself in a hole of pain, when she was in a new city that she hadn’t even explored. Or stepped out of the apartment since she had arrived.

“The café down the street has the best blueberry muffins. So if you get hungry while looking around you should definitely go there.” Saanvi suggested. “And while you’re sightseeing maybe you’ll meet someone-.” She added.  
  
Genevieve sent her a look at the knowing tone in Saanvi’s voice, the girl raised her hands in defense.  
  
“What? I’m just saying…”  
  
“I came here to escape-” She still couldn’t say his name, but she couldn’t cry again then she wouldn’t leave the apartment and the day would just be spent in bed like every other day. “Not to find a fling.”  
  
“Right. Sorry.” Saanvi paused, studying her. “So are you gonna be okay alone?”

Genevieve nodded. “I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

She took the keys and her purse. Leaving the apartment. Saanvi lived in a pretty good neighborhood and everything was walking distance. She could feel herself enjoy the sights with a new sense of excitement she hadn’t felt in a while, even when she took a detour with a risk of getting lost and ending up kidnapped, she had for her safety one finger on 911. 

(Ben was right under 911. She hasn’t found the strength to change that yet.)

* * *

Ben sighed and while attempting to look through the paperwork in front of him, wishing he could will his brain to focus on the work ahead and let the familiar drive take him like it usually did. But his brain couldn’t focus more than a few seconds and then his thoughts went off in another way. It wasn’t that the paper wasn’t interesting, it was just that he couldn’t get himself to infuse himself into it. 

The last few weeks he had wished for a distraction for something on the page to catch his attention, but nothing had worked. He even attempted to switch to an uppercomming project to see if the newer information would reset his brain. But he found it difficult, when his overactive thoughts were taking so much attention. 

He was the last one left on in his building space, which wasn’t a rarity but normally it was because he couldn’t pull himself away, but now it was because he had no reason to go home. All that was waiting was an empty apartment. The realization that for people on the outside, like his workers it would look like nothing had changed, that it was just an ordinary night for him hit him like a stone against his chest. 

Ben sighed once again, leaning back against the chair and brought his hands to his face, accepting defeat and calling it a night. He put everything in order, took a second look on his desk before grabbing his coat and walking out, walking home. 

Nothing says home like a dark apartment with days old order in leftovers in the fridge. Ben hung up his jacket and put his bag on the table before walking into the kitchen to grab a beer, after he did that he walked to the couch and sat down. Taking a big swing from the beer. 

It was hard to not feel defeated. Sure he loved his job and now when even that wasn’t working for him, he didn’t know what to do. He normally would seek guidance in Genevieve, who would reassure him and erase his ongoing stress or fear. But things were different now when they weren’t exactly on speaking terms anymore. 

He took another long sip of his beer, wondering when his life became such a mess. He had always been a person of order and control, but right now he didn’t even know how to spell those words. Which meant that he somehow needed to break the cycle of self pity that he was currently and get on the right path again. 

* * *

It was easier than she would have thought being alone, she didn’t have to pretend she was okay, when she barely managed. Which also meant that being alone was heavier than she expected, because there were no distractions that could pull her out of her thoughts. 

When Saanvi was working a shift at the hospital. Genevieve tried to take advantage of that and enjoy her lonesomeness by reading a book she had put off reading for weeks. But she didn’t do a great job in doing just that, when her mind kept drifting, and pulling in different directions.

A thought that she couldn’t get out of her head, no matter how hard she tried, was if Ben hated her. If he hated her for leaving the way she did, for not sticking it out. The thought destroyed her and crushed every positive feeling in her body. 

When suddenly a knock broke the silence, she put the book down wondering who it could be. Knowing Saanvi would have her keys and step right in. When the knocking didn’t stop, she got up and walked to open the door. 

“Gen? I come in peace.” A familiar voice called out from behind the door. “I brought donuts even if you don’t wanna see me.” 

Genevieve opened the door. “Of course I wanna see you.” She replied as Michaela stood on the other side of the door, one of the last people she’d ever expect to see. “But why do you wanna see me?”

Michaela walked inside. “A little birdie told me you were in the city and I wanted to check if it was true.” 

“It’s true.” She shrugged and then looked down at her hands. 

“So.. what’s new?”

Genevieve let out a laugh but it came out sounding more like a sob. “I’m sorry I’m just very emotional these days.” She dried the skin under her eyes. 

“For some reason.” Michaela said in a deadpan tone. 

“Yeah.” 

After they stood in silence for a few seconds, Michela dropped the bag of donuts on the counter. “I can’t stay long, I just wanted to check in.”

Genevieve nodded. “Thank you.”

Michaela gave her a quick hug. “Take care okay.” Which she nodded in response before the girl left closing the door after her. Which left Genevieve where she started the evening, alone with a cold cup of tea and a blurry mind. 

* * *

Genevieve nervously was waiting in an empty hallway, her hands were sweating. She attempted to dry them off on her pantsuit but they wouldn’t seem to get the hint. This was the first time she had been called in for an interview after she had sent out resumes to different firms across the city. She couldn’t walk around and feel bad for herself anymore, she had already tried that and it wasn’t healthy or helpful in the long run.

She tried to calm herself down by breathing deeply, silently trying to prepare herself to do her best. She knew this was the right decision and what she wanted to do. Her only want was that she wished she could call Ben and ask for advice or tell him how nervous she was. Whenever she was nervous or conflicted about something she would have called him and he would have reassured her feelings. 

One thing she had accidentally started doing was to look over her shoulder to say something to him or expect him to be there next to her, and when he wasn’t, she wanted to cry as something broke in heart, that she didn’t know how to put back the crumbled pieces together.

She stopped herself from going any further, she couldn’t think about him, not now. Not when she was about to walk into a room and be judged by people with more knowledge than her. Not when there wasn’t a them anymore, and thinking about what used to be was self sabotaging, and doing more harm to her already fragile heart with torture and loss. 

Genevieve stared at the clock once more, trying to get the time to move faster. She couldn’t wait to finish the interview so she could go back to the apartment and just lay down in bed. She tried to stay positive and believe in herself, she sighed once again when a door suddenly opened. 

“Genevieve Carson?” The woman who stepped out of the room asked. 

Genevieve nodded before standing up. “Yes. That’s me.”

“I’m Marsha Wellmore, nice to meet you. Come on in.” 

Genevieve followed Marsha into the room.

* * *

Work hadn’t gotten easier for Ben, things had rather turned to the worse. He tried his best to get back to his normal self, doing everything he used to do when he was in a funk but nothing helped. He felt like he had done everything in his power to do so. But yet he was still struggling, still very much lost. But now his workload was building up and he was just in a circle of stress induced headaches and stomach hurt.

He groaned to himself as he started to type up the last equation. Deep down he knew what the problem was but he just didn’t want to acknowledge it, if he didn’t think about it, it wasn't real. He was happy at work, even if the work they did was isolating and he never really spoke with his coworkers. 

He was happy. 

He was at a job he loved, he got to work with his head solving equations and reading inspiring work from other brilliant minds, it challenged him. Maybe work had been a little harder than usual these last couple of months, but he could take that. The city was beautiful even if he hadn’t really taken the time to experience it lately, but that didn’t matter much in the long run. He had his family one phone call away, and he spoke to his sister almost everyday. Sure they haven't had the time to meet up in person in a while, since he was caught up on this end of the country and Michaela was on the other end. 

He was happy, he tried to convince himself. 

Life is just difficult right now, but he would get his way out of it. He knew it wouldn’t stay the same for long, he just needed to get himself out of the foggy tunnel and into the light again. He would start going and feel excitement again and not the resentment and anxiety he currently felt going to work. 

Happy. 

* * *

The last bit of summer warmth was still in the air but barely. The change was there but the sun still shined bright. Genevieve was walking home after her interview, things had gone well, she answered the interviewer as accurately as she could. 

Even if it didn’t lead anywhere she at least could say she tried, and that was something. She wanted to call someone and tell them about her interview but Saanvi was working and the person she wanted to reach out to was across the country. 

No, she was in a good mood for the first time in a while and she couldn’t let herself spiral down that road again. She needed to take this small achievement and bask in it before life came rolling again and she went back to her usual mood. 

She sent out a quick text to her mama about how it went. Her mother being the supportive person she is, let Genevieve call her days after she moved to New York and didn’t tell her any ‘I told you so’s’ or ‘how she should have known better’ even if she might have felt that way, and Genevieve couldn’t have love her for it. 

She decided she would go to the café Saanvi recommended as a treat and get a muffin and some coffee. She deserved that, she hadn’t shred any tears today, she made a good impression. Yes it’s what she deserves. 

She walked all the way to the café in a brighter and lighter mood than she had been in weeks. Having hope that things might start to go her way. 

* * *

It was the end of the day and Ben was contiplaning if he should bring some extra work home. He didn’t have any plans for the weekend but he didn’t feel like staring at an empty wall for the next to days, so he came to the decision that it would be better if he brought something home just in case. It was already dark when he stepped out of the building. His car was one of two cars left in the parking lot which made it easier for him to get to it.

After entering his car he wondered if he should stop by the Chinese place on the way home or just go straight home and have some leftovers that he had in the fridge. Just when he backed out of the parking lot his phone started ringing. 

He glanced at his phone, his heart picking up the beat fast but then seeing Michaelas contact picture. He pressed accept and was immediately greeted by his sister's familiar voice. 

_Hey! How’s it going?_

“Hi. I’m on my way home.” He casually said. 

_"Wait… you’re just leaving now?"_

“Yeah I had some stuff to do.” 

_"Ben are you taking care of yourself? have you talked to someone about what happened?"_

“Yes I'm just focusing on work right now.”

_"Ben you can’t keep isolating yourself like this."_

“What are you talking about, I meet people every day.” He explained. 

_"At work and you don’t even speak to them! Can you blame me for worrying about you, even more since-"_

“I'm fine Mic. I know that you worry but it’s not necessary I’m okay” 

_"Ben-"_

“I gotta go okay. Love you, talk to you later.”

After hanging up the phone, Ben tried to not overanalyze or be affected by his sister's words. He knew she meant well but that didn’t mean she knew everything, he had everything under control here. But maybe he should do something about it, to get her off his back. Not because there was some kind of truth in there somewhere but because his sister wouldn’t drop it in the first place. 

* * *

**SEPTEMBER**

“To Genevieve, for getting a job at a law firm and nailing all those interviews.” 

“To Genevieve.” There was glass clinking. 

Genevieve couldn’t stop smiling, ever since she found out about the job she had been on cloud nine. “Thank you all. I think I’m still in shock? I can’t believe I could trick my interviewer that I was qualified enough to be able to work there.” She took a sip from her drink before putting it down.

After Genevieve got the call about getting the job, She needed to text someone the news, she thought about calling her mama, but she already burdened her too much as it was. She then texted Saanvi, who was already out. Who responded that Genevieve needed to celebrate and that if she wanted she should meet her at this bar downtown. When she got there, Saanvi, her girlfriend Drea and two of Drea’s friends Kathlyn and Beatrice, were sitting in a corner booth and instantly waved Genevieve over.

After some quick introductions, she took a look around the place and noticed that it was in fact a karaoke bar. But Genevieve hoped that it was just a bar with good drinks, so she put her thoughts about singing in public like that aside, hoping that it wouldn't come to that. 

“This is a big achievement which means we need shots.” Saanvi explained. When the tray came forward they all took a glass “To taking risks and putting yourself out there and seeing how it goes!” 

Genevieve smiled gratefully, taking the shot. And then swallowing the burn. Then she started to talk to Beatrice about her life and found out that she was a florist, working not far from the apartment, she has a cat. 

After they had talked for a while Drea stood up and announced. “I think it’s time for a song.” Which got their rounds of cheers and wohs, as the girl started to introduce herself and then started to sing what she thought was an ABBA song. 

Saanvi leaned against her side and whispered. “I think you should go next.” 

Genevieve looked at her shocked. “What? No.. I’m just here to drink.”

“Come on, you said you wanted to do new things, remember? Experience stuff.” Genevieve grimaced, she did say that. “And if you complete the song you get a drink on the house.” Saanvi shrugged. 

She sighed. As Drea took a bow and walked off the stage, everyone applauded. Before Genevieve could change her mind she took a big sip from her drink and then walked up to the stage.

“I’m Genevieve and I‘m gonna sing 9 to 5 by the queen Dolly Parton.” 

Singing was kind of fun when she got the gist and had drunk enough to not feel the embarrassment of it all and afterward, she took a bow and the girls applauded. The day Genevieve considered was pretty successful after all and just what she needed.

* * *

Ben was waiting, wanting to nervously tap on the table it wasn’t the place or time for that. He looked around the restaurant, all around him was people eating and conversing, the room itself was pretty with the decors matching the set up on the tables.

After his talk with Michaela, her words stuck to him. He hadn’t been out in awhile and maybe that was why he was feeling so blocked. Then finally the person he had been waiting for came into the door.

“I’m sorry I’m late, baking emergency.” Grace came walking in, she had been trying to get them to go out before but it hadn’t worked out. But now that he had more time on his hands he decided to take her up on her offer, even if he felt like it was wrong. 

“It’s no worry. I hope everything worked out.”

“Yes.” She sat down and opened the menus. 

To which Ben smiled. He had to remind himself that it was a good thing. That he needed to get out of his bubble because otherwise things would keep being hard. Doing the first dates again or dates in general was harder than he remembered, or he was just out of touch. 

“So Ben? What’s up with you. I’m surprised that you reached out.” Grace asked. 

“It’s just been a lot of work lately and I needed to get out, I wanted to try this place and thought you would like it too.”

“Can I ask something?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you decide to call me? I thought you were very unavailable.”

Ben froze, his heart suddenly squeezed. He didn’t really want to talk about that but since he already said she could, he couldn’t blame her. He hesitated clearing his throat before answering, “Not anymore.” 

Grace nodded. “I’m sorry.” 

To which he nodded and then looked through his menu. They continued the date after that talking about general and everyday topics. But the mood was awkward and when they finished their meals they went their separate ways. 

The date had left him feeling more alone and out of place than it did before. He tried to enjoy Graces company but there was something missing between them. Also it didn't help for her to bring up his former relationship status, which really ruined the little good feeling he had. 

Ben felt lost, and he didn’t know where to go from here. Other than that he was tired of being alone and thousands of miles away from everyone he cared about and who cared about him. He put his head in his palms, the dark apartment surrounding him. Sitting and waiting out the storm might have been a good idea at first but now it seemed like it wouldn’t leave. 

* * *

The last month had been pretty busy for Genevieve at work, it meant long hours and little pay. But she couldn’t complain because It had been so long since she felt motivated and excited about reading something that was normally considered boring and long. Practicing law had always been a dream of hers so just the fact that she was in that branch now. 

She got along with her coworkers well as they all welcomed her into the firm with open arms, which she appreciated. And just like that work took over her life as a lot of things needed to be done as quickly as possible as she dove into the work head first. 

Working had also certainly helped keep her thoughts centred on work and not so much of other parts of her life. She tried her hardest to not let the deep rooted sadness take control, but some days it was harder than others and those she had to stop herself from reaching out, to send a message that she missed him or to call him just to hear his voice, ask him if he was doing any better than she was. Some days it was hard to feel anything but heartbreak. 

She knew she was the one who ended it and it might have been the right decision. But that didn’t mean she didn’t miss him. Or didn’t think about what he was doing and how he was. Sometimes she let herself wonder if he missed her as much as she missed him, but she wouldn’t let herself think about that for long. 

She was trying to have good days now too. Things were moving forward, she had gone out with some of her coworkers for dinner. Saanvi and her were coming together as roommates and they were becoming quite the well oiled machine. Fall was blooming outside and the leaves were a beautiful shade of orange and red, making the city beautiful. 

She really started to feel like things were starting to fall into their place, just as summer turned into fall and the leaves were changing from green to orange. She hoped that her sadness would change into happiness, and tried to stay hopeful that would be the case. 

There was a knock on her door. She looked up and saw Carrie, one of her coworkers. “Genevieve the meeting is about to start.” Genevieve smiled and thanked her, she stood up and walked through the door. Motivated to do her best and continue moving in the right direction. 

* * *

Ben taped the last box shut, he looked around the apartment and there were boxes everywhere, it looked so finalized that he would be leaving soon. The big furniture would be left behind while some of the smaller ones would be brought with him. It felt weird seeing the apartment so empty but he knew it was the right call. 

He started to think that he should move, after the last few months just being a long lasting streak of bad. He asked himself why he was still living somewhere, where he was deliberately putting himself in a situation that was no doubt bad for him, and just something that made him more miserable. 

The rest was surprisingly easy, and when his request to be relocated by his work was approved he started packing. It had been nothing but a breath of relief. To be able to just end this miserable chapter of his life and not having to be reminded daily of this hurt. It filled him with more hope than he had before. 

He had a better feeling about moving than he had felt about his life in months. Just being in the apartment made him feel bad and it wasn’t working for him anymore. He wasn’t one to do something so drastic and make big changes to his life, which was why he tried to stick around but it wasn’t working, it wasn’t the same as before. 

Ben stepped out on the balcony, taking in the sights for the last time. He didn’t know what to expect at his new place but he hoped he would feel happier and that his place would be taken by someone who would fit it better. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before waking inside again. Hoping for good things. 

* * *

Ben's new place was smaller than his old one. But with the right touch he could make it feel more at home, which was why Michaela offered to help him unpack and make everything look nice. Helping him put stuff in in the right place, they had been to a furniture store yesterday and bought some furniture that would match his new place, since he didn’t bring any furniture with him. 

He couldn’t describe the feeling of being in the same room as his sister after many months apart. Moving to New York seemed like the best thing he could do, he still had work but now he also had his loved ones closer. His parents lived in the city and so did Michaela, he also had friends in the city too. The loneliness that followed him around in the old place wouldn’t be so present here. 

Being back in New York would be a fresh start for Ben, he could work on himself here without the sense of dread and anxiety following around. He never wanted to feel whatever he felt in the old place again. He didn’t know if that was a mix between heartbreak and then trying to do too much and but also not enough, he did know that wouldn’t be the case here. He decided it. 

Michaela broke him out of his thoughts, when she started to speak. “Not that I don’t like you being back. But I have say I’m surprised that you took the step without any interference from me or mom..” 

“There was nothing left for me there.” Ben stated. “I tried to make things work but it just became worse everyday.” He shrugged as he opened another box. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know it became that bad.” Sympathy filled her tone. 

“I hated everything. Everything. In the end it wasn’t a hard decision.” 

Michaela hugged him which he hugged back. “I’m glad you’re home. Welcome back.”

“Thank you, I am too.” 

It was the start to a new beginning. Since he didn’t want to go back to that cave again, or those feelings that came with it. He wouldn’t do that to himself and not to his family. He would have to change some stuff, his family being around would certainly help a lot more than being alone. 

“You want to grab something to eat?” Michaela asked. 

“I think we’ve deserved that, yes.” 

“Pizza?”

“Pizza.”

It was decided. 

* * *

**DECEMBER**

Genevieve had one to many glasses of wine and was slightly drunker than she should be. She should go to bed but she wasn’t feeling that tired and her mind was buzzing. She deserved to relax, she didn’t have work in the morning so she could just take it easy now. Which was how the wine bottle entered the situation. 

Now she was sitting on the couch doing something that could be considered dangerous and off limits. It wasn’t something she trusted herself with when she was in the right state of mind, so it made even less sense for her to do it while being in the intoxicated state she was currently in. 

But yet she couldn’t stop herself from doing it. She was stalking her ex on social media. Ben didn’t have a big presence on social media, he most likely forgot that he had the apps on his phone. But still she kept scrolling through his and by default Michaelas Instagram. (Going through her own would cause too much hurt and she wasn’t drunk enough for that.)

It was a dangerous game of temptation and curiosity. She should have stopped after the first look but now she couldn’t pull herself away, since social media was basically useless in finding new information about Ben. She had to take matters into her own hands. 

She took a big sip from her glass and then went into the DMs. 

* * *

**[benstone] carsongenevieve**   
hi.

Ben was staring at his phone in shock, he had to triple check that it was an actual real message and not an old message. When his phone vibrated and saw the instagram notification, he thought it was odd but then he saw the name under it and everything stopped, as he almost dropped his phone from the surprise of it. 

His heart picked up in speed just looking at the message. Out of all people who he’d thought would message him, she was the absolute last person on that list. Which saddened him because there was a time when a message from Genevieve wouldn’t surprise him, it would be normal. 

After almost a half a year of silence and not knowing where she is or what she’s been doing. She was suddenly on his phone, the notification itself taunted him. He didn’t know what to do or if he should reply back and if he did what he would say. There were so many things he wanted to say and for her to say. 

There were so many what if’s and ‘why now's’ that came from that simple message that he didn’t know what to do next, his emotions were all over the place. It took some time for him to be able to put his phone away and focus on the task he was doing before getting that message and tried to forget everything else.

* * *

Genevieve woke up with two things, a headache and regret. She wished she could stay in bed forever and sleep away everything. But she wasn’t that lucky, when she knew that she had stuff to do today. 

“You did what?” Saanvi laughed. 

“Don't make me say it again.” Genevieve begged as she sip of the newly made coffee, hoping it would help her aching head and to avoid her gleeful looking roommates questions. 

“Why did you message Ben? Of all people?” Amusement filled her roommates' tone. 

“I was not under the right influence..” She said in her defense. “And it wasn’t like I said anything graphic.” 

“It was an instagram dm… Which said enough.” Saanvi teased.

Genevieve groaned wishing for the floor to open up and take her with it, placing her forehead against the kitchen counter. She didn’t know if it was the wine headache or if the strong embarrassment that was making her feel worse but she definitely wasn’t feeling it. 

“So what did he say?” 

“He didn’t actually respond, but I could see that he opened it. Which is even more embarrassing.” 

“Should we send someone to check on him? So he hasn’t passed out of shock.” 

Genevieve snorted. 

* * *

Genevieve was home for the holiday, it was good to be home but also a lot of questions that she didn’t really want to answer. But she was having fun meeting old friends and catching up what they had been up to since the last time they saw each other. The good food that was being served didn’t hurt either. 

She was staying in the mountains until after New Years. It gave her enough time to reset her powers and go back to NYC even stronger and with more power. She was ready the new year to come and hopefully a new her to come through too. 

When she told her mama that she was coming home for the holidays, she was happy. Since she’s been home her parents had been surprisingly quiet about the change in her life, and hadn't mentioned a word about Ben or their suddenly nonexistent relationship. Which she appreciated. 

Just the fact that it was her first Christmas without Benit was hard enough. She didn’t need any lessons as a reminder of the fact. She was already very aware of the fact thank you very much and even though she attempted to be very distracted and busy, the thought showed up once in a while. 

She hoped wherever he was, he had a great Christmas and a great new year whether he spent it with family or friends. And maybe next year he wouldn’t hate her as much anymore. She hoped that one day he would forgive her too and maybe she could forgive herself too. 

“Genny what are you doing standing her all alone.” Her mother questioned as she walked into the kitchen. 

“Mama I’m fine.” 

“I know baby, but it’s okay if you aren’t”

“Thank you mama.” Genevieve kisses her cheek before she walks out of the kitchen. 

* * *

Ben and Michaela were standing in the kitchen of their parents house, one was washing the dishes and one was drying. They had a lovely dinner, just the four of them, for the first time in a long time. Ben had forgotten how nice it could actually be, and since his mother stood for dinner, went to clean up. 

They first started to talk about innocent things, like holiday plans and weather but then they slipped into more of a serious topic. There were some trial that were both spoken in the newspaper and in the precinct Michaela was working on, Ben tried to stay in touch but his sources weren't as official as hers. 

“That’s actually not true.” Michaela handed him a plate. 

“How do you know?” Ben laughed. 

“I happen to have some insider knowledge.” She joked.

“Since when? Some ex boyfriend.” 

Michaela stared at him, before carefully saying. “No, I actually heard it from Genevieve.” She paused before dropping the most shocking information. “She told me when I saw her last week.” 

Ben felt startled and had to take a deep breath before asking. “Genevieve is here?”

“Yes.” She replied shortly

“In New York?”

“Yes, she lives here now.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He questioned.

“It wasn’t my place to say.” 

He looked away nodding, he knew it wasn’t meant to be intentionally cruel or mean spirited. But that changed things, he had spent so much time wondering where she had gone, and to think they had been in the same city all this time. 

He had only let his thoughts slip a few times during the day, as the Christmas season especially reminded him of Genevieve and how she loved the holiday and brought so much spirit and joy to the people she loved. He didn’t know if she had found someone new but he hoped that the people she was around knew how lucky they were. 

Ben looked back at his sister and gave her a tiny smile, letting her know that he would be okay, he might have been a bit uncertain for a while there but it was gonna be alright in the end. Her big reveal didn’t change anything, he was looking forward to the new year and everything it would bring. 

* * *

Genevieve was back after break, well rested and happy to go back to work. She spent the celebration of the end of the year with her old friends, having fun, playing games and drinking a bit too much but she didn’t have any texting accidents this time at least, which she was so thankful for, the embarrassment was something she never wanted to experience again. 

When she came back into the city, she and Saanvi cooked dinner together so they could catch each other up on what was going on. Her and Saanvis relationship really bloomed during the past year so Genevieve missed her while she was home. They talked about their individual holidays and if anything else had happened while she was away. 

Genevieve's first day back at work started with a lot of meetings and requisitions. Then she was suddenly called into a different meeting, where she was informed about the case they had been preparing to go to court. It was then she got the news that was the biggest surprise or shock of her career. 

She was appointed primary lawyer on the upcoming case, it was her turn to sit at the front with the client and speak before the judge and jury. Genevieve had so far never been at the stand, she had stayed in the office searching for the needed information, checking bylaws and being a helping hand for her coworkers' cases, but she hadn’t had the opportunity to be involved in the heavy stuff. 

She had only been there for the last quarter, to get the opportunity and faith that she could handle it meant a lot. Her superiors told her everything she needed to know, she already knew the basics as they had prepared for it to go to court but she didn’t think she would be in front of the line. 

Her leading first case was something that she would never forget and was something she had dreamt about doing for years and years. She had always wanted to be a lawyer but it was sidetracked and put down the prioritization list. But now that she was there finally, she didn’t know what to do. 

* * *

Ben's new workplace was very different, compared to his old one. Even if it was the same company, the branches were almost opposites. For an example at his new job, people talked to each other. They were expected to do it, so they could work better as a group and know each other's way of thinking. And there was very different after work meet ups, one of them he was invited to. 

There was a game of poker played every month. It had started with Ben's first week there, one of the people working there, Carl, had been asking for Ben's thoughts on some numbers he had been getting. They discussed the reasoning behind the numbers. After that Carl asked Ben about his life and shared stuff about himself. 

Which led Carl to introducing him to some other workers who were in the same field as them. They then told him about poker after work and if he would like to join them for a game. Ben had not only promised himself but also Michaela to be more open with his social calendar. So he accepted the invitation. 

“So what’s your vice Ben?” Mark asked as he mixed the cards. 

“Anything really.” Ben shrugged. 

“Keeping your cards close to your chest; smart.” Another guy named Davis spoke out. “Some friendly advice, it’s different playing with other mathicans.” 

“You shouldn’t give advice when you’ve never won a game in your life.” Carl chimed in. 

“It’s good your here Ben we’ve been feeling guilty for taking Davis money for years. Now you can get in on the action.” Mark added, while dealing out the cards.. 

“You shush I’ll prove myself to all of you and you’ll see who has no game.” Davis said, picking his cards up. 

They all chuckled as the cards were dealt. 

After a couple of rounds Ben found out that the guys weren’t kidding when it came to Davis. Who either had the worst luck or really was the worst card player that has ever existed. But that didn’t stop the mood from being very happy as conversations flowed easily as they all tried to win Davis money.

“I didn’t know you were such a card shark, Stone.” Davis complimented as Ben won the round. 

“I know how to hold my own.” Ben responded. 

“Unlike someone else.” Carl added. 

Which got another set of laughs, which kept up the entire evening. At the end of the evening Ben had won his fair share of Davis money, had a great time and when asked promised that he would consider becoming a regular. 

* * *

Genevieve still couldn’t believe that she got the case. It felt like a big sign that she was moving forward and in the right direction, that she could do this. Become an actual lawyer with or on her own without anyone else, if she just put her mind to it and worked hard to get there. 

There were a lot of things hanging on this case, her chance to prove herself and do the people who hired the firm justice. She hoped by doing well with this case, it would show her superiors that she was someone they could rely on and that she was great at her job. 

She had to believe that was prepared enough for the case and that she could handle whatever happened, since the trial dates were happening soon. Which was why she was staying later in the office, to really try to perfect everything. 

There was suddenly a knock on her door. Genevieve sat up straight before asking the person to come in. 

One of the longevity lawyers, Jenna, asked as she stepped into the room. “First case jitters?”

“Maybe? I’m just reading through the proposition one more time.” Genevieve explained. 

“It happens to the best of us, but I assure you it’s gonna go well.” Genevieve gave her a sceptic look. “If it wouldn’t, you wouldn’t be getting the case in the first place.”

“So what can I do?” Genevieve asked the more experienced lawyer.

“You can’t prepare yourself for what you’ll feel there or what’ll happen. But you can prepare what to say.” Jenna paused before speaking again. “I heard sleep and food help too.”

“What sleep?”

“Exactly.” 

“Thank you.”

“Don’t stay too long okay?” Jenna said before walking out. 

* * *

Ben was in a bar, where his old friends and new friends had come together, all because of his birthday. He had spent some time catching up with people who he hadn’t seen since he moved away, or even before that. After a while he broke away from the group and settled down in a booth to drink his beer in peace.

He considered the day a success but also felt that there was something missing, or someone that was missing. Even if he hadn’t felt this relaxed and almost carefree in a long time, he took another sip. He didn’t get any further in his thoughts as his moment of quiet was suddenly interrupted. And he heard a voice behind him that he fortunately recognized. 

“Happy birthday big bro.” Michaela sat down on the opposite side of the booth from him. “Any reason why you’re sitting here all alone.”

“I was getting tired of standing, so I decided to sit down and drink.”

“So how does it feel to be one year older and much wiser?”

He rolled his eyes and took a sip from his beer. “Great can already feel the wisdom sinking in.”

Michaela then saw someone behind him and started to smile. “Well well well, look who we have here.” 

Ben turned around and saw Saanvi walking towards them. 

“I heard it was someone’s birthday.” Saanvi said as sat down next to Ben. “Happy birthday.” She gave him a side hug.

“Thank you, and thank you for coming. What’s new with you?”

Mic and Saanvi shared a weird look with each other, that he couldn't analyse. 

“Not much. What about you? How have you been?”

“Kinda contemplating a middle age crisis but other than that good.” Ben shrugged and the girl laughed. 

“It's been so long since I saw you, so what've you been doing.”

“I still live in Brooklyn and I work at the hospital. I have a brilliant girlfriend that your sister introduced to me.” Saanvi shrugged. “How’s the city treating you? Spit you up yet?”

“It’s great to be back, work has been good.” Ben paused taking a sip before continuing. “Fortunately, I was already spit up by the last place I lived in, so maybe the city is taking pity on me.”

“I’m glad you’re back, so we don’t have to wait so long to see again.” Saanvi confessed. 

A statement Ben completely agreed with. The fact that they had lost contact was his fault, when he moved away, he had prioritized the work he was doing above everything, even above his health in the end. He didn’t want to be that person who disregards everyone’s feelings, just to prove a point or be right. 

He wanted to be a good person, a good brother and a good friend, who took the time for people not someone who’s too busy, to even have a conversation with.

* * *

**MARCH**

Genevieve was exhausted both mentally and physically, she was running on coffee and so much adrenaline. She was grateful that today was the last day of session, and they had said their closing statements yesterday and now it was just the verdict left. She had been assured by her peers that she had done a great job, and there was nothing left she could do but wait. The wait was killing her, she was putting on a strong mask for her clients sake. But inwards she was wondering, what was taking so long. 

When the judge finally entered the courtroom, they all rose. Genevieve clenched her fists as he started to read the ruling. She held her breath when he announced that the verdict was guilty and that the prosecutor side won. She couldn't believe as people started to leave the courthouse and she walked with her client, who thanked her. She felt almost dizzy when she received the congratulations and handshakes. 

When Genevieve came to the apartment, she was tapped out, the adrenaline and rush of winning her first case was on it’s way of leaving her body. But the smile on her face was permanent, she decided she needed something to drink before she headed to bed. But when she walked into the kitchen, there stood a vase with big daffodils on top of the kitchen counter which made her stop in her tracks, there weren't many people who knew her connection to daffodils and what they meant to her. 

As she walked closer to inspect them, she noticed that there was no note attached to it. She didn’t need one to know who it was from it, she had experienced it before, in another lifetime. She picked up the phone and started to type out a message and without thinking about it she pressed send. 

**Thank you for the flowers, I love them. G**

**You’re welcome.**

Genevieve let out a small laugh at the incoming text. She attempted to figure out how Ben could have known, there was no way and yet he somehow did, and that meant everything to her. She started typing but she thought for a moment before, pressing send. 

**I won a case today in court.**

After a minute her phone lit up again, with another message. 

**Congrats! But I’m not surprised.**

Just seeing that message made her already emotional self, tear up. She laid down on the couch, all the energy and pressure from the last few days suddenly melted away. She looked at Ben’s message again, his faith in her making her heart softer than it had been in a long time. She started to type but then she erased it, and rewrote a simple thank you. 

Genevieve fell asleep dreaming about nights in an apartment with a flower shop next door, telling someone all your secrets and them sharing theirs, about believing in signs and getting them delivered. 

* * *

Ben was over at his parents again, they needed some help shoveling. The cold was biting his cheeks but the air was still refreshing. He had been off work all day, so when his mother called him and asked for his help, he went to his car right away. To be outside and do some physical activity, he found, reseted his mind and made him more relaxed. 

When he was finishing the last of it, his mother called him that the food was ready. He was met with a great smelling scent as he stepped into the house, it was almost like his stomach growled with agreement. The food looked amazing, he complimented his mother on the fact.

After a while when they had been sitting down and enjoying the food, his mother said something that made him look up.

“You look happier.” 

“Do I?” It was an innocent comment but he couldn’t help to question it.

“Yes, your eyes are so much lighter than when you first came home.” He could tell his mother had thought about this a great deal before actually speaking out the words. “You were almost unrecognizable, you were so tired and sad. ”

Ben put his hand on one of his mothers, to almost reassure her that things were better. “I was, but like you said I’m better now.”

She put her free hand on his cheek. “I’m glad, you know you can come to me right?”

“Yes.” He smiled and they continued to eat, switching the conversation to something a little less serious. 

When he sat in the car on his way home, he thought about what his mother had brought up. How it wasn’t just his mother that had been worried about his behavior and tried to talk to him about it but he just discarded it. He thought he was okay but he now looking back, he didn’t even know how to spell okay. 

He didn’t want to ever worry his family or loved ones that he wasn’t okay. 

* * *

“So have you ever been here before.” Beatrice asked, holding her muffin and coffee. 

Beatrice had texted Genevieve and asked if she wanted to meet up for some coffee. They had kept in touch since their introduction at the karaoke bar. Genevieve had accepted, and suggested the café down the street from her. 

They sat down at a window seat, you could look out and see the snow had almost fully melted and the sun was shining more and more. Spring was finally here and she attempted to take it all in. 

“Few times, the muffins are really good.” Genevieve responded. “So how’s the flower shop doing.”

“Good. We are nearing that season where people start to buy more and more flowers, now that it’s not so cold outside and they survive longer.” 

There was something that Genevieve had been curious about and she couldn’t stop Beatrice from asking. “Can I ask a weird question?” 

“Well now I have to say yes, I’m too curious to say anything else.”

“Have you had any flowers delivered around here.” 

Beatrice gave her a look. “Why?”

“I got these beautiful daffodils delivered to the apartment. But I don’t know where they came from.” 

“Really?” Beatrice questioned and then thought for a moment. “I don’t think so. Do you know who they were from?”

“Yes.” Genevieve looked at her tea and the fumes rising from it. 

“What’s with the look?”

She looked up. “It’s kind of complicated. It was from someone special but I can’t really ask them.”

“Now you’ve peaked my interest.”

“It’s a long story.” She shrugged, not really feeling explaining the story even if she was the one who brought it up. 

“Mysterious.” 

Genevieve's awkward refusal to explain things further didn’t stop the conversation from going. As they went on to talk about other things and she had a great time, Beatrice had loads of stories about people entering her shop and asking for the weirdest flowers. 

When they separated for the day, they decided they needed to have dinner soon and include the other girls. 

* * *

Genevieve was sitting outside on the balcony basking in the sunshine, the spring finally there and next to fall it was her favorite season. She disliked the cold and darkness that winter brought with a passion. But the promise of spring always made her in a better mood, if she focused really hard she could hear the birds singing. 

She felt like a cat in sunshine, and was about to close her eyes and just enjoy it while they had it. When her phone started to vibrate, signaling a new message. When she looked at her phone she was surprised that the person on the other side was Ben. 

**Have you seen the paper today?**

Genevieve looked questionly at the message, they hadn’t spoken since she thanked him for the flowers. She typed up a quick response before sending it off.

**No, why?**

The message bubble appeared as he appeared to be typing but then it disappeared. Which frustrated her to no end, if he thought he could leave her hanging like this, she was just about to send something or go and look and see if she could buy the paper somewhere. 

**[Image] You’re famous.**

**Wait? Is that real?**

**Yes, It’s in today’s paper. All about your trial.**

Genevieve gasped at the picture, sure enough that was her face. Even though she was very proud of her personal achievement of winning her first case, she didn’t think it would get any public attention. Now she really needed to get that paper, so she could send it to her mama, and also keep it as a momentum for herself.

She knew that Ben was in the city, the last time she had come across Michaela, the woman had told her just as much. Genevieve didn’t know if she meant it as a heads up or as a warning, but she hadn’t had much time to think about it since after the christmas holiday she had been pretty busy. But now with him sending her a pic of the new paper. 

It made her stomach flutter. A good thing was the fact that he reached out to her meant that he wasn’t resentful towards her or hated her. Because that was a thought that had haunted her for a long time, and it killed her everytime she thought about it. The want to see him again would be stronger now, since he was within hours reach. She just had to get used to them being in the same city again.

* * *

It was a normal day. Ben was sitting in his office, typing and control checking. He was just about to go and get some coffee when his phone started to buzz, notifying a new message and a smile immediately appeared on his face. 

It was Genevieve, who was telling him about how she was convinced someone put a curse on her the last time she was home, that she would turn people to salt. He could just imagine the interaction in his head, the people at the mountain were special, He typed in a response before putting his phone down. 

Talking to Genevieve again was familiar but also a new feeling. They had messaged each other a few times since he got those flowers delivered to her apartment. Even if It was just a text here and there, it was worth it and this whole casual thing worked for them better than strangers ever would. 

“What are you so smiley about, Benster?” Davis questioned leaning against his doorframe. 

“Nothing, just a funny story.” Ben gave him a look at the nickname, it felt like everytime he and Davis were in the same room he got a new name. 

“Well well well. I never would have thought the day would come where our own Benny, would be a bad liar.” He looked like a cat who just caught a canary. “Let me guess? It’s a woman.”

“It’s a friend.” Ben didn’t feel like explaining who the person was, or the large history between them. That was entirely too personal and delicate, he definitely didn’twant Davis take on his newly renewed friendship. 

Davis cackled. “Interesting.” 

Ben simply rolled his eyes and then looked at Davis. “Did you want something or are you just amused over me talking to someone?”

“No, I was just walking to the copier when I saw your smiley face.” Davis straightens his stance. “And it was just too good to pass up.”

Ben focused on his computer screen once again. 

When Davis started to smile. “So, who is this female friend?”

Ben shook his head and then stood up, grabbing his coffee thermos and phone, and leaving Davis standing next to his door. 

* * *

The apartment was full of noise and people were talking when she and Saanvi had been invited to a dinner at Beatrice’s, but instead of ordering food they had decided to make it. It was mostly Kathlyn who ran the kitchen and the others who were less gifted, just tried to help with her instructions. 

Genevieve was stirring the sauce in the kitchen while the others were plating and talking in the other room. The apartment had a very warm and homey atmosphere but it didn't surprise her as Beatrice was one of the kindest people she had ever met. She was about to check how much time there was left for the chicken in the oven, when her phone buzzed.

She didn’t know when she and Ben had started to talk again but it had somehow slowly happened. She also didn't realize how much she had missed him until she saw his name in one of his texts, they hadn’t met yet but she knew she wanted to. She picked up her phone and texted back. 

“Who are you texting?” Saanvi was suddenly standing in the kitchen.

“Oh, it’s just Ben.” Genevieve shrugged and then put her phone away. 

“Just Ben? Since when are the two of you back in touch.” The doctor crossed her arms.

“We aren't, we just text sometimes.” the lawyer tried to brush it off by turning to stir the sauce again. 

“Oh how normal and casual of you both.” But her tone was saying that it was something entirely different to which Genevieve rolled her eyes to. 

Her phone then vibrated again and as she looked at the phone, she started to smile at the message. 

When she looked up, Saanvi was looking at her, with a knowing look.

“I didn’t say that I said we text sometimes.” 

When Beatrice walked into the kitchen looking between the two girls, she was thankful for the distraction. “What are we talking about?” 

“Nothing.”

“Genevieve is just casually texting.”

Saanvi raised her brow and gave her a look which Genevieve returned. 

“Wait, are you texting flower guy?

The two other girls walked into the kitchen, but Genevieve didn’t get any help from them either. “Who’s flower guy?” 

Genevieve wanted to put a stop to the conversation before it turned it into a bigger thing than what it was. But before Genevieve could speak up Beatrice said. 

“This guy who sent Genevieve flowers, who she’s now texting.”

“Wait, you got flowers from a guy?” 

Drea looked at Genevieve and she nodded. 

“Do you know?” Beatrice asked

“Yeah, his sister is my partner.” 

“What?” Beatrice and Kathlyn said at the same time.

Drea grimached before speaking. “Saanvi is the one you should ask since she went to his birthday party in February.”

Saanvi looked at her girlfriend in betrayal and all eyes were turned to her. “That’s-”

“Shush. How do you know him?” Kathlyn asked. 

"I’ve known him for almost as long as Genevieve, next to my med school, was this university. And there I met Genevieve and Ben.”

The apartment went silent and it looked like they had more questions when the timer went off, and the food was ready to be taken out of the oven. She turned around and pulled it out and the other girls prepared the rest so they could eat. Genevieve thanked whoever saved her from talking about this more and giving them something else to talk about than her relationship. 

Ben wasn't brought up for the rest of the dinner, and she got to just enjoy dinner and the company but when the other girls got the attention and she got to grill them with questions too. 

* * *

Ben had almost forgotten how it felt like to talk to someone who understood you on every level. Who knew every part of you. Talking to Genevieve was like that. Ever since they had little by little started to talk again, it had felt so natural and easy. He loved that they could still be in touch and talk even if they weren’t them anymore. That they could just speak about something and be on the same wavelength. 

He and Genevieve had been great friends before they started going out and made it official. He had felt so out of balance when they first met, she was the most beautiful and incredible person he had ever met, and she still was. He had seen her in the paper and read about the work she had done, and he couldn’t be more proud of her.

Talking to her again and seeing her in the paper did make him want to see her again, talk face to face instead of texting. He thought about asking if she wanted to meet up somewhere to get some coffee, but with their newly rediscovered relationship he was worried that it would break some unofficial rulebook between exes. The vibrations from his phone broke him out of his thoughts, but a smile grew when he saw who the message was from.

 **Remember when you thought you ordered a flashlight on a stative,** **  
****but when it arrived it was just this unusable wobbly plastic thing?**

A smile appeared on Ben’s face, as the memory washed over him. He thought he had found this brilliant invention, and it was kind of expensive but it was worth it since he really needed it. The shock he experienced when it arrived that it was not at all what he ordered, but in fact the opposite. It was a small plastic stand with no flashlight and no parts that you could buy separately.

Genevieve tried very hard to be supportive and not laugh in his face when he told her all about it. But the more he ranted about it, the shinier her eyes got. He could feel the anger wash away as he started to chuckle at his mistake, and she started to laugh too. As he went over his mistake, they laughed even more until both of them had tears in their eyes and stomach cramps. 

She had then tried to make him feel better while also gently teasing his fragile ego. But seeing the happiness in her eyes, he didn’t mind the teasing at all, not if she would keep looking at him like that. He shook his head and before responding.

**It might ring a bell, yes.**

**I just experienced the same disappointment**

Genevieve then continued to explain that she had been ordering some food, and had been really excited about it but when it arrived it was the smallest amount of food she had ever seen and twice as expensive as normal food. She felt so embarrassed that she finished the food in two bites and then threw away the box and the menu in the communal garbage can. 

He expressed his condolences while asking her questions about the food in general which led to what he had eaten that day. To just talk about what they had done that they and what they were gonna do later. 

* * *

Genevieve was getting ready to work on her second primary case, she had gotten the request and she accepted without a second consideration. But as she read through the material it made her question whether she had made a mistake, and if she needed to tell her superior that she wanted to back out. There was a meeting starting in minutes and she needed to make the decision right away if she wanted in or not.

She realized that she needed advice and while she loved her friends and they all were supportive and good at giving advice, there was simply only one person she wanted to talk to, someone who knew her better than she knew herself. She didn’t have the time to overthink what she was about to do and filed it for later.

With no time to overthink she reached out to grab her phone, sending a message to the one she trusted with everything and knew her better than anyone else.

**I need your advice**

Ben answered right away, and the relief she felt almost broke through her anxiousness. 

**What's wrong?**

**I got this case at work** **but now I’m having second thoughts..**

**Why are you having doubts?**

**It’s a bit different case than I’ve handled before**

**Gen, you already know what to do.**

**Do I?**

**Yes. Because you are one of the smartest people I know.** **  
****You’re a great lawyer, you don't need me** **or anyone else to tell you what to do.**

She read the message over and over again in her head, trying to make herself believe. She was uncertain that she could do this. But with the reminder of the advice she got on her first case and the message she just recieved. She went back into the main group room and joined the people who were already there and getting started. 

* * *

**JUNE**

Ben was sitting at a table with a cup of coffee and a half eaten muffin. It was Michaela who had brought him, who had raved about the cafés baked goods and great coffee. But when he and Mic were in the middle of their muffins, she was called into work. He assured her that it was fine and would leave when he was ready. 

And now he was just enjoying the baked goods even if it felt awkward to sit there all alone. He wondered if Genevieve knew about this place, he was just about to pull out his phone and text her when he heard the door open, and a familiar voice speak. 

“Can I get a sweet tea please. And a blueberry muffin.” 

Ben turned towards the voice and it confirmed who he thought it would be. She was just standing there waiting for her order and he knew he had to say something before she walked out and he missed his opportunity to talk to her in person. 

“Genevieve?” 

Genevieve turned towards him, looking just as surprised as he felt. A small smile on her lips that looked like the one that was on his lips. 

“Ben? What are you doing here..” She slowly walked forward as he stood up. 

“I was here with Michaela but you just missed her.”

Genevieve smiled and then when they were within reach she hugged him. 

He mimicked her movements and put his arms around her. She smelled like lilies, something sweet and entirely genevieve. A smell that he had missed for so long. He didn’t know how long they stood there, holding each other tightly. 

Ben then pulled away knowing he should do this face to face, “I’m sorry.” he said looking into her eyes. 

Genevieve looked at him with confusion before tearing up. Nodding as she understood what he was meaning. “I’m sorry too.”

He pulled her closer again. Whether it was to stop himself from tearing up and the sight of her emotions or to calm her. 

“I missed you.” She murmured into his chest. 

“I missed you so much.” He said back. 

“Do you wanna sit down?” He asked after they had pulled away for a second time. 

She nodded, sitting down opposite him. Talking to Genevieve in person was great, he hadn’t lied when he said he had missed her. He had more than missed being in her presence. They started to talk about anything and everything. Work, life, friends.

“Michaela keeps side eying me whenever I’m texting.” Ben rolled his eyes. 

“Don't get me started, people are very nosey like I’m not in your business so why are you here.” 

He laughed in agreement, taking another sip from his coffee. 

But then the coffee was finished and the muffins were eaten and even if they could have sat there and talked for much longer but it felt like they should end their meetup there and say their goodbyes. 

"It was good seeing you.” She said as they walked out to the street. 

“It was good to see you, too.” He replied. 

They then walked their separate ways. 

* * *

Ever since she had met Ben a few days ago, she hadn’t been able to get him out of her head. She tried to take the meeting as some sort of closure, but her stupid heart wouldn’t stop hurting at thought of never seeing him again, of never talking to him again. That they had put their relationship to rest. 

She knew that she loved him and would always love him. But she didn’t know if he felt the same way she did. She thought about calling him or texting, but she chickened out and then had a problem. She simply missed him and being in his presence.

When suddenly there was a knock on the door. She stood up and gently opened the door. She wasn’t prepared for the person who would stand there. With a bouquet of daffodil in his hands. 

“Ben?” 

“Hi.”

Genevieve let him in and as he handed her the daffodils. She didn’t know what to say, but she didn’t have to because when she was putting the flowers in water Ben started to talk. 

“I’m sorry to just drop by. I’ve been thinking about something a lot and I didn’t want to do this over the phone or over text.” Ben explained. 

“So after we met at the café, I went home thinking about how I can convince you to give us another try.” He shook his head at his own thoughts, as he then started to pace. “But I realized that I don’t know how I got you in the first place and I messed things up so badly. So I shouldn’t deserve a second chance.”

“Ben.” She said hesitantly 

He held up a hand, not letting her interrupt him before he had said everything he wanted to say. “I’m in love with you, Genevieve. Not even when there was a country between us, did that change. I tried my best to forget you, but no matter what I did, you were still there in my head and my heart.”

Genevieve looked at him with shock, she was about to answer him, when he started to speak again. 

“I know now that we broke up for a reason, it was necessary for both of our sakes. But we are not the same people in that scrappy app-”

Genevieve interrupted him by standing on her toes and kissing him. When she could feel him kissing her back after the shock ended, she pulled back and made him look into her eyes.

“I love you too.” She confessed.

“You love me?” He asked.

“Yes.”

To which he pressed his lips against hers again. 

A year ago she was at her most miserable. She was catching a flight after having her heart broken. And in this moment she was the happiest.

**Author's Note:**

> the break up fic playlist:
> 
> tolerate it - taylor swift
> 
> the night we met - lord huron & phoebe bridgers
> 
> supercut - lorde
> 
> bruises - lewis capaldi
> 
> death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift 
> 
> lights on - maggie rogers
> 
> the 1 - taylor swift
> 
> bloom (bonus track) - the paper kites


End file.
